Let tonight be a silent night //

Hello Peeps! It has been a while since last i blogged. and lately i've been kinda busy, to the extend that i'll crave for alcohol, to release some stress and sorrow. 🙊 Not to mention that i've been procrastinating since xmas break, and also the numbers of skipping classes. :/ oh, this is really bad. i promised myself not to skip classes if i can. and i kinda did it after class resumed. but, i skipped today, due to the weather. it was raining kinda heavily, that i've became lazy and the thought of crossing the road under the heavy rain just kinda make me even lazier. i dont wanna cross the road, holding books and umbrella, under the rain. 😶 I know raining can't be an excuse, but, i am just not in the mood for classes tonight. meh. 

Life has been kinda fucked up for the past week. and i hope everything gonna turn out fine soon. 🙏 friends around me caught up with some issues lately, and so do i. My parents been making a big fuss out of everything lately, and i just dont understand why. Maybe I wasn't them, and i couldn't think as what a parent think. I am a 23 year old adult, and of course i know what i am doing right now, i know they're worried about me, as they're my parents. they think the best for me, and they're just trying to protect me. I do feel bad for making them worried, and i do feel bad for going against them. 😪 you know, this is human nature. the more you force, the more they're gonna against it. sometimes i just dont understand. that's all. Maybe just cause I'm still not matured yet. ohwell. This make me kind of realise, i need my fucking freedom. 😐

I do realize, that I've changed. It's not that i've changed into someone bad, or.. maybe I am? 

Time to look myself into the mirror, and self-reflect? 😯

oh man, i just need some alcohol. that's all. 🍷

but, 

I am more than grateful, sometimes. 🙊

Insecurity sucks. 

It really sucks. 

I need to learn how to read someone's mind. i really wanna know what's on his mind. I'm not up to any mind-game this time. 😐

I am just afraid. Why must it be so hard. :/

but still. thanks for the tuxedo hello kitty, and also the bird nest. 😂 these silly acts count! 😛

I shall learn not to think that much, and to put everything back into where they belong to. :)

I need to calm down, and have a cuppa coffeeeeeeee :p 

jokes kayyy.

Ciao! 

x,

J