I welcome you to my world
Bonjour! x
Bonjour! x
J.
3rd March
Pisces
Law student
Love foods, Desserts, & everything pretty
Summer Love
filled with thoughts.
Finally done with the birthday post. such a long post isn't it? :O
Anyway, after writing a happy post, now feel like going home d. cos i spent too much time on it! 😭 yes, I'm at VCR cafe, doing this blog entry. :) a new cafe, a nice hideout in kl. will come back again, a good place for blogging. ahh spending some quality time alone wasn't that bad after all, even though it sounds a lil lonely at times. haha. btw, i had lunch with Josh at My Elephant Thai @ Hartamas before i came VCR. such an overrated Thai restaurant, not authentic at all meh. 😒 anyway, this post is gonna be an emotional one, that filled with my thoughts and feeling.
so much bad things happened recently, first was my friend's death, which i've blogged about it previously. and now the aircraft incident. i felt really bad for such thing happening to our country, and people just couldn't stop talking about it, and spreading untrue statements all over the social medias. like seriously, we are all malaysian, aren't we supposed to get united, and face this incident together, and not spreading untrue news, and talk bad about your own country. shame on all of you. you know no shit, and pretended to be a professional one, and never feel ashamed of it? ugh. hopeless people. after knowing that the aircraft has crashed into the sea, and knowing that none of the passengers are alive, my heart sanked. even though i've never encountered any of these issues before, and i never wanted to, *touchwood*, but i understand how their loved ones feel like. i understand how painful they were, to have lost their family members and friends. they're so innocent, and they know nothing, but they just gone like that. why is life so fragile, and unfair at the same time? sigh. i seriously feel so sad, and this incident once again remind me that life is really short, and we are all living with unexpectations, u never know whats gonna happen the next. my deepest condolences to the family and friends of the passengers of MH370. stay strong, and #PrayForMH370 besides that, another bad news just gotta hit on us during this hard time. the bus which carried my high school's prefects crashed. another heartbreaking news. One of my juniors died in the accident, and some of them are in critical condition. hope that they're fine, pray for them 🙏
and some people never think before they express something. i dont know why did you get annoyed when people posted '#PrayForMH370' or '#PrayForCHSPrefects' as their status in FB or Twitter. how was that annoying? like, not everyone must post a super long post to show their cares towards these two incidents. a simple hashtag, could simply shows their care. maybe they're not as expressive as you are, not everyone knows how to express via words. and not everyone must be good in writing all these things. how could you conclude that they're insincere when they posted that? shallow minded. 💁
anyway, issues issues everywhere.. I'm so tired of it. after five months, people still mention about it. well, I'm so tired of dealing with it already :/ was thinking of writing it with chinese, but guess I'm just gonna continue with english. Sometimes, he still came into my mind, as a passby-er. sometimes, I'm thinking, how's he. and everything. i know I'm stupid, in the sense that he has already moved on with his life, with his new gf, but I'm still stuck here. i gotta clarify, i've fucking moved on too. haha. well, was thinking if i should ignore this feeling, and pretend as if i dont care. but well, fuck it. hmmz, shall just leave this aside. no point talking about it anyway.
我听别人说，分手后的女生会变得特别漂亮。我个人也非常赞同这说法，我的却是有点改变，不是说变漂亮了，而是懂得更爱自己。聪明的女人是会懂得爱自己先，才爱别人。虽然我还是那个愚蠢的双鱼座，那个被别人伤害了还是会说对不起谢谢，的大笨蛋，可是我总算学聪明了一点。不要只懂得付出，而从来都不要求回报。被别人当傻瓜，被骗了一年，还在帮对方圆谎，找借口。我知道我真的太笨了 😪 现在除了为自己而活，我也只会对真心对自己好的人好。爱自己多一点，不要傻傻的一味在付出，到头来，受伤的只是自己。
最近都有点心烦，不知该如何面对。想要以逃避的方式暗示对方，但是他就是不明白。我从来都不喜欢拖拖拉拉，更不喜欢给别人家假希望。我想是时候解决这件事情，不想在烦了。😯
有时候真的很庆幸自己有一班真心对自己好的朋友，虽然他们都不在马来西亚，我们其实也不常联络，可是他们对我的关心我是感受得到的。开始怀念和他们在英国一起生活的日子。真的很自由自在，很开心 ☺️
This is gonna be the second time I'm facing this failure, dont know if i should feel unhappy, or numb. i've no guts to check my bptc app at all. I'm afraid of the failure. I'm guessing whether is the god trying to hint me on something? am i not supposed to study bar? am i not suitable for it. i started to think a lot regarding this. I'm afraid if i dont suit it, and if I'm not capable of it. i saw my classmates posting on twitter and all, talking about how stressful, how many advocacy classes they have attended, exams, cross examining, and all, hit on me right in my face. i know I'm not a court-person, although i wanted to be one. as i couldn't speak malay fluently. and not like I'm very good in speaking english. i couldn't imagine how nervous i could get when i have to attend advocacy classes, and to speak to the lecturer, and the angmohs. 😢 the passing marks is high. i have no confidence at all, when my degree results was just meh. how am i gonna cope with bar school? i dont know. and i finally understand why they set such a high entry requirement for bar school, and the passing rate is low. :/ i know I'm always a competitive person, and never like to lose. i wanna win in every single thing, I'm always as strong. i never know how to face failures, and never wanted to face reality. but i seriously gotta think carefully, and come out with a good decision. just when i got no confidence to go over to uk to study bar, and my relatives just gonna ask me this question, 'when are you leaving to uk again?'. ugh. can't u guys just leave me alone, stop asking me all these questions! I DONT EVEN KNOW IF I HAD THE CHANCE TO GO OVER TO UK, AND EVEN IF I HAD, I DONT KNOW IF I SHOULD GO'. brr. people just never know how sucky this feeling is. because they never stand in other people's shoes. but its okay, it's life, and i know i should learn to face this kind of thing. stay cool, fpl. you're living your own life, you dont live for others, you dont need to please them, you dont need to care about what other people think about you, maybe now they might be looking down on you, but one day they gonna regret on what they've done/thought about you, because you gonna prove them wrong! live your life to the fullest, without afraid of people judging you, because you are who you are, you are happy with what you have right now, that's enough, if they do judge you, it means that they're shallow minded, and they are living a dull life. 💁
done with all the ranting, like finally. hope that you guys won't get annoyed by my thoughts. well, if you do, just ignore my post. and i dont mean to direct anything to anyone, and if i've offended you, I'm so sorry then.
it's raining, gotta love the sound of the raindrops, but how am i gonna go home? :/
Really love the emoji on Mac. so cool. *happygirl*
Till then x
J
Labels: [daily update], [true feeling]