Bonjour mes amis :)

Miss blogging so much, and wanted to blog few days ago. the same old feeling kicked in again. i dont know how should i face it, and how am i supposed to deal with it. just feeling, mentally exhausted. even though i already know my position, and always remind myself about it whenever i feel uneasy, but still, feeling a lil upset when things happen. no one likes to be just an option, i guess this is normal and reasonable. no matter how generous one can be, he or she can never be happy with the fact of being an option to someone whom is a priority to him. well, everyone has their own priority in their life. its either u take it or u leave it. it has been discussed few weeks ago, and i have already accepted the fact of it. i no longer hold any high expectation on something that might be just a dream for me, a dream that will never come true. u know, sometimes i just want to leave everything behind and just say fuck it. but in the end, i know that i actually care. how to be not care when ur heart cares the most? 

came to realize that im being dumb, again. feeling dumb for giving in so much, and to realise that someone doesnt even care bout it. i no longer know what am i supposed to do. and i dont know what did i do for the returns i got. ohwell. life is unexpectedly tough. fts

you wouldnt feel good too, if you were me. 

Ps, Being understanding, or less caring? 

it's september again, some friends gonna leave for the uk soon. how i wish i was one of them. another year to go. 

pooiling.