It's 12:12am right now, and i know i should be in my bed. but yah, i gotta wake him up later at 12:30am, so i've decided to blog. 

Sometimes, i really feel disappointed towards someone that i really appreciate in life, someone whom i thought im close to her, someone whom i thought yes, she's the one that i could count on in the rest of my life. but as years go by, i came to realize that, our gap is getting bigger and bigger. i dont know if it's my problem, or what. every time i try not to think about it. i try to pretend as if nothing has happened before, try not to listen to anyone else's words. but yah, it's too much, and too scary that i started to think, how can someone be like that? It's like someone stabbing my heart with knife, everytime i heard something that im not supposed to know. If i ever have a choice, i would rather not know anything. the feeling of revealing a truth, is very pain. i know i might be over-acting, but this is how i feel. things just got accumulated, and i finally couldnt take it. and i just ignore everything. 

I really dunno if he/she did it on purpose, or he/she is really innocent. of course, i hope its the latter. i've been thinking about it, maybe others might think that it is just a small matter, but to me, it matters alot. 

fuck this shit. fuck my life.

havent really been cursing these days, but i just cant help, but to curse. like seriously, some people need to learn to shut the fuck up, and some people need to learn to fuck themselves.

'Ignorance is bliss'

I was so sarcastic that, i felt bad for being like that. but i just couldnt take it. i need to release that anger. although i feel that it doesnt really help, but at least for that moment, i did feel better for letting it out. but yah, only at that moment. 

I was not being rude, i was just being myself. i choose to ignore, just because that i have had enough. 

Ps, i was right, im always right. 

I'm glad that it does not matter to me anymore, and it will not matter in the future. 

and i'm glad that, i've made the right choice. i miss you boo. :(

how i wish tmr is the end of March. :/ two months more till i see him. 

Pooiling.