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J.
3rd March
Pisces
Law student
Love foods, Desserts, & everything pretty
Summer Love

Him & Him

u know what, i have a lot of free time lately. whenever im alone, wherever i am, whatever im doing, as long as im alone, i thought bout my past, the people that appear in my life in the past, and now gone disappeared. they were one of those memories, where i could never forget bout them. my high school memories will definitely be one of those. i remember how i was looking forward to go school everyday back then. or rather pmo lol. the people there were nice, i always love being together with them. but there was always one person ur looking forward to see her/him day and night. u will feel like ur day would just get lighten up with his existence. sometimes, i do miss him. i dunno why. maybe just because he went through some of my high school life with me, no matter ups or downs. he was there for me all the time. and for one period, we stopped talking to each other, we were like stranger, that was the period, i felt the heartache. i was always wondering how could he do that to me. but now, it doesnt matter to me anymore. i've moved on with my pretty good life. but i gotta admit that, he was once, one of the important persons in my life. HE will always be remembered.

Till college, i've met another important person in my life. I always wanted to write something bout him. But maybe this wasnt a good decision, if i ever blog bout him publicly? i dunno. just feel like, it was one of the best memories in my life. i always wanted to say that, i've moved on. but today when dear told me about something, and she brought up something that related to my situation. 'I've moved on, and please dun ever contact me, or talk to me. please leave me alone' something like that. and then i was thinking, i did say something like that before. and then i think, if he has already over it, he wouldnt have say that. he wouldnt mind coming across to stuff related to dear. and wouldnt mind doing stuff that will remind him of her, and wouldnt mind talking to her. Although i find it nothing wrong to asking for leaving him alone and stuff. but yah, if u would want to ask me one question, whether have i move on, i would say yes. and even though i've moved on, doesnt mean i wont miss him. sometimes i still do, like whenever i passby some places where we went before, or rather some places he brought me to, etcetc. it was really one of the beautiful memories. and sometimes i just smiled at those places whenever i thought bout it lol. u know what, he was the first guy who i find him cute lol. the way he always manja for love. and one of the reasons why i find him cute was when he said he was jealous because of something. dunno if others feel that way too. i dunno.

and i always thought im some open-minded girl, but through this, i found that i was an open-minded girl only on my surface. but im actually an ordinary girl who gets jealous easily deep inside. lol well, i think this is normal for a girl. :p

and now in uni, everything changes. like the way i am, the way i behave, and the way i think. i've became more mature, and more 'white-minded' lol. maybe for the white people, i am not at all. but for msian, im sure i am lol. but yah, i like how my life is now. im living a pretty good life now, with great people, but of course, there'll be also some shitty people in my life. but i give no fuck to them lol. talk whatever u want, ur just some nobody in my life. im not gonna see u guys anymore, and wont want to see u guys anymore. cant stand people that love to be sarcastic or mean to others, just because they're jealous of others. ohwell, thats just pathetic. please keep it to urself, dude.

dont like it whenver i have to control of my words ohwell. i wish i could just swear whenver i want, but yah, i've been controlling myself, and haven been swearing for quite some times. i know as a girl, i just cant be that rude, but u know, sometimes, when angers come out of nowhere, u just gotta swear, thats way of releasing the anger, better than keeping it right?

sometimes, i really hope that i could tell u frankly, that i miss you, whenver i thought of you. but i think it doesnt really matter to you, and seems like its needless. sometimes, although how u wanted to be frank to someone u love, if that thing would harm the relationship, and doesnt bring any benefit, why not keeping it to urself instead of telling him frankly? right? somethings are better left unsaid. :)

for once, im being honest to myself. and i felt much relieved now.

pooiling.

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