3rd March

and i promise to love her the rest of my life.

i never told anyone about my feeling and all after it happened. i never shared with anyone when im sad, emo, happy or depressed. i tend to keep everything in my heart, rather than telling my close friend. i used to be excited when it comes to night, but not anymore. i used to be happy, when i sign in my skype, but not anymore. i used to be smiling when i saw ur name appeared when my phone rang, but not anymore. :/

it has been almost two months. no contact, no talking, no texting, no skyping. how cold was that huh? everything wasnt under my control. im so sorry that i couldnt face u and treat u as my normal friend. i felt, heart broken. :/i feel bad everytime when i see u online, and i just couldnt start a conversation w u. i feel bad when i actually ignoring u. i feel bad when i pretend that i couldnt see u in my skype. many times i tried to actually talk to u, and tried to find u. but i dunno why, i've got no guts :(( im so sorry for being like that. i just, couldnt :/

u may started to feel frustrated towards me, or feel that why would i treat u like that, or think that i was bullshitting, saying that we are still friends. sigh, i dont want this to happen, but it just happened. :'/

u know, this few month, i tried to be happy, tried to fake a smile in front of everyone, tried to act as if nothing happened. i damn tired, i've got no one.

i teared when i thought of every words that u told me. i teared everytime when i thought of u. but i smiled when i thought of every moment that spent w you, when ur in canada or in msia. i smiled when i thought of everything we did together, and got through together.

everything ended, two moths ago. why am i still staying here? but not moving on? :/